The Ripple Effect
The simple message: Kindness is contagious, negativity is also contagious.
How we interact with others is IMPORTANT because we are building the other person's interpretation of reality. I believe that every time I interact with another person, I am impacting that person's outlook on the rest of that day and perhaps even their life. This is not through some mystical energy I impart to them, but rather through the other person's impression of reality based on his or her contact with me.
For example, assume that Bill grows up in a big city. He has no family and is raised in an orphanage. Every person Bill meets as he is growing up is rude to him and insults him. You can expect that Bill will have a negative attitude about life and others. One day a co-worker of Bill's asks Bill if he can borrow $1000 from Bill, should Bill loan him the money? Will Bill loan him the money?
Meanwhile, out in rural Kansas Russ is growing up. He has a loving family and every person he meets is friendly and kind. One day a co-worker of Russ's asks Russ if he can borrow $1000 from Russ, should Russ loan him the money? Will Russ loan him the money?
Finally, lets assume that both Bill and Russ move to Lincoln, Nebraska. After working there 6 months, each of them is asked by a co-worker if they can borrow $1000, should each one make the loan? Will either one make the loan?
The underlying question here is 'How much SHOULD we trust one another?'. Bill will probably not trust the other person because he has LEARNED not to trust. 100 times out of 100 the correct response for Bill has been to NOT trust - therefore he would be a fool to ignore all that life has taught him and try trusting this once. Russ probably WOULD trust. 100 times out of 100 the correct response for Russ has been TO trust - therefore he would be a fool to ignore all that life has taught him and try not trusting this once. The point of asking the question is to realize that THERE IS NO CORRECT ANSWER! If the man in Lincoln Nebraska is trusted and given the $1000, we will soon learn whether or not it was the right thing to do, but we must realize that it only applies to that single situation and cannot be generalized across all interactions.
By this time, both Russ and Bill, based on life experience have formed opinions (their own view of reality) about how far someone can be trusted. Neither opinion is right or wrong, but one opinion or the other will lead to a more rewarding life. Which opinion will lead to a more rewarding life? We have no way of knowing. So what we humans do is we make decisions based on those experiences we have had in life. The only thing besides experience that we can use is education. We may have grow up in rural Kansas where everyone can be trusted, but we also may have read in books or learned from the TV that people in larger cities should not be so trusted. Our experiences determine our reality. We can use education to improve our image of reality when our experiences may be different than the experiences of others.
Our experiences not only define how much we should trust one another, but also how much we should respect, help, and love each other. The key to a rewarding life is to have a perception of reality that will best fit the environment you go into.
Some people will say if you never trust anyone then you don't risk getting hurt. You also will never be loved, and you will probably have no one willing to help you when you are in need. A person that never risks getting hurt leads a bitter, lonely life.
Some peole will say that you should always trust others (Turn the other cheek). These people are simply fools and all that they have will be taken from them (at least that is true of all advanced societies in the world).
If every person you meet in life is polite and trustworthy, your impression of reality is going to be that everyone is basically good and helpful and that the world is a kind and nurturing place in which to live.